The other day I was in line at the grocery store and as usual I had a full cart. With a family of six, I always have a full cart. For some people this is a problem and for some they feel they have the right to budge me because they have fewer belongings. When we first moved here I was oblivious to the city's grocery store culture so I routinely let someone go in front of me. But this week it happened two days in a row. The first day I was thumbing through a recipe magazine while I was waiting for the customer in front of me to check out and out of the corner of my eye I realized there was a grown man trying to sneak in front of me. No big deal, right? I put the magazine down to show the budger that I was purposefully in line, thinking he would back down. But he didn't. He clearly thought he should be able to go first because he could contain all his purchases in his arms. I felt challenged and troubled by how I should handle this situation. This grown man was acting like kids in my son's preschool class. I wasn't sure what to do. Everything in me was saying, "Be kind and let him go first." But the other voice of justice was saying, "This isn't right." So I left the store conflicted. Wandering why he couldn't just wait patiently in line.
Day two at a different grocery store left me shocked when a man walked up to me after I'd been waiting in line and asked, "Can I go first?" Again, this man could carry all his groceries and he seemed oblivious to the five other customers that trailed me in the line. He clearly felt fine about this question and was surprised that I responded with "no." I don't know why I said "no." Or maybe I do. I was tired of everyone feeling they had the right to go in front of me just because I had the full cart. At Aldi they buzz you through so fast anyway a full cart is cleared in a matter of minutes. Anyhow, I left my shopping trip conflicted. Why couldn't he just wait patiently? And, why did this bother me so much?
Why do I share my grocery store frustration? Well, because I'm beginning to sympathize with my budging companions. My patience wants to slide down the conveyor belt and shimmy out the automatic doors. My "rights" seem a little more important than others' these days and I just wish I knew the right person to ask, "Can I go first?" "Can I have my court date?" "Did someone forget about me?" Why can't I just wait with patience. Because waiting is hard! And it is not natural!
So on the days when His peace fills me even when the phone has been silent, I know I'm witnessing a miracle. And on days when I clutch the phone tight begging it to make a sound, I moan to Him who spins the world. To Him who gives hope with each new day. To Him who daily fills my lungs with air. Without Him I'm a budger wanting my "rights." But with Him I will miraculously wait my turn.
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine (even the little girl I want to hold across the globe).
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything (he knows her needs), inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired (dang, I'm tired),
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. (Ok. I will trust!)
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.
Isaiah 40:28-31
